Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Baby Vaccinations from Baby's Point of View

Baby's first shots from parents point of view:


Poor little guys is gonna have to get his first shots today. I hope he's not up ALL FRICKIN' NIGHT. Like I need that again. Should he even be getting shots? I heard shots are to babies as Brutus is to Caesar. How can I live with myself if these shots betray my baby? Now I'm nervous. Should I cancel his appointment? That's silly. It will be fine, but man I hope he's not up all night. I feel for him and all, blindsiding him with needle sticks, but he's not gonna remember it, right? Right? I don't know. Should I cancel his appointment? No. We're doing this. Shots are good and protect him. Unless they don't. Okay, let's do it.


At the appointment:
Okay, let's hold him until we absolutely have to put him down. Oooh he's smiling! Make faces to elicit more baby smiles! He has no idea what's coming. He's gonna hate us. Shots aren't Brutus, we are Brutus. Oh, here's the nurse. Let's put him down gently. Hold his hands! Keep making faces! LOOK, MORE SMILES! This is going well, we've gotten through the oral vaccination. He seems to have liked it. What a smiley booger-wooger beans. Hold his hands, the shots are coming now. Keep his mind off it! Desperate silly faces to elicit smiles! It's not working! IMMEDIATE SCREAM AND FROWNS! Oh no, he hates us. He doesn't know we are protecting him from meningitis and whatnot, he just knows it hurt real bad and we are responsible. I feel like such bad parents. Hold him and snuggle. Oh, no more tears! Is he asleep already? 


Baby's first shots from baby's point of view:


Ooh look, we're going somewhere! I love car rides. I like swinging in my swing more. I hate this! When are we going to get out of this car? Why did you take me out of my swing? I want to swi----(snores).


At the appointment:
Oh, I must have fallen asleep, how embarrassing. Ooh, mom is holding me. I love to be held. Being held is my favorite! Ooh look at the lights! Have you ever seen lights? Lights are my favorite! Hey, how come I have to take off my pants? It's cold in here. Oh well, mom is still holding me so I guess it's cool. Hey, don't put me down! Who's that lady? Where are mom and dad? Oh, there they are. I'm okay. I thought they abandoned me here with this new lady I've never seen! Mom and dad are being silly, I'll give them a smile or two. They're trying so hard. Mmmm the strange lady just gave me something kinda tasty. It doesn't taste like milk. I wish it was milk. Yeah, give me some more of that, it's delicious. I wonder if this lady could talk to mom about making my milk taste like that. Hey, mom and dad are holding my hands! I love mom and da-- what the...THAT BITCH JUST STABBED ME! How could you guys let this happen? No, I don't want to be hel---(snores).


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Mylo did great at his 2 month check up yesterday. He's a healthy weight and length and took his vaccinations like a champ! He was pretty sleepy all afternoon and night, but this morning he seems to be fine and just wants to be held, swing, and play. 'Atta boy!

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